How Do I Define Myself Essay Example
It’s hard to align how you define yourself and how you let others define you. I see myself as a creative, nerdy, tech theatre geek who enjoys music, Marvel, and hockey. But how would they define me in a newspaper article, if I made a difference in this world or I was murdered because of the things I wouldn’t put in my definition? Things such as the fact that I am also a transgender male in a gay relationship. I can imagine the headlines putting my sexuality and gender before my name or achievements. If I had to say right now how I wanted to be remembered it would be as a set designer, a loving son, a hardworking student, a Captain America fan, a stage manager, a third generation Rangers fan. These are all the things I love and hold dear to me and like to spend time doing.
Being trans would not be something I would include in the things that I love. Being trans means you suffer from a mental disorder known as gender dysphoria in which the disconnect between your perceived gender and natal gender causes extreme distress. I am constantly surrounded by applause and praise, people being proud of me for being myself. They don’t understand that the distress is too much, that if I wasn’t out, I would not be able to live with myself as a girl. I’m not proud of being trans or gay, it’s just who I am. Just as I am Italian, just as I have brown hair, freckles, dimples, a blonde streak in my hair. It is simply a characteristic of my being, not my personality.
I think the most important and defining thing is my work in technical theatre. I joined Tech Crew as a freshman in high school, unsure of what it was or where it would take me. In those days, I wanted to be a doctor. I stacked science class on top of science class, prepared to take the pre-medical track in college. Tech Crew changed that all for me. Since joining, I am certain that this is the career path I want to pursue. I have now worked two professional internships, helped with professional shows, built sets for important events, and have worked and been offered numerous jobs. I think Tech Crew not only helped me to find my passion, but also allowed me to grow as a person. It constantly gets me out of my comfort zone to try new things, work with new tools, talk, learn, and create experiences with new people.
My Tech advisor recently asked me my thoughts on the success of the Tech program at my school, one of the only student dominated programs nearby. I responded honestly- this program allowed me to find my passion. But the biggest thing was, attending Tech is not mandatory. If I have a test the next day or a big paper due, I can skip. But the program is so important to me, I rarely skip. I want to be a part of something so big and amazing that to me, it is worth staying up those extra hours into the night to get my school work done afterwards.
It doesn’t matter how others see you. They will most definitely see you differently than you see yourself because they are not you, they don’t walk in your shoes. It’s also important to remember that who you are now is not your final form. I used to think I would be a doctor, I used to think I was just a tomboy girl. Through time, I have proven my own definitions false. Don’t hold on to one definition. You are not a word with a specific meaning. You are a person, you change, and so will your definition.
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