How I Left My Comfort Zone
The Comfort Zone, an anonymously written poem, has corresponded to my life in numerous ways. Through the author's style of writing and perspective of the matter, it almost seemed as if it were me, with a pencil and paper, who anonymously wrote this, painfully true yet hopeful, poem. The theme of this poem is over the struggle of lacking self-esteem and how those who doubt themselves come to find him/herself in a state of regret. Throughout my entire life, I have struggled with the fear of losing, expressing vulnerability in front of my friends, and being judged by others in a negative way for things such as my appearance, my body features, my voice, and my personality. And although I'm not as confident as I want to be, I have definitely overcome some huge obstacles to achieve the person I have become.
Because of my inability to be confident, I have missed many opportunities in my life that I wish I could've been a part of but will, unfortunately, never have the chance to try again. In the poem, The Comfort Zone, the author wrote "I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I couldn't fail, the same four walls of busy work were really more like a jail" (The Comfort Zone). When I read these first lines of the poem, it really stood out to me because I've always been the type of girl who'd make the excuse to not be able to participate in certain activities. This was due to my insecurity of failing in front of others. For instance, in my freshman year of high school, I had All-State round 1 auditions that I had worried so much about because my voice, in my opinion, is less of a choir voice and more of a powerhouse and belty type. And to this day, I have always believed that I don't have the most outstanding choir voice. Furthermore, when the morning of the audition arrived, I pretended to be sick when my mom woke me up, so I could opt out of auditions. Because of this and plenty other moments in my life, I have been, and I still am, disappointed in myself for not trying to overcome the fear of failing and just simply doing it. In another quotation, the author said that he/she "... claimed to be so busy with the things inside my zone, but deep inside I longed for something special of my own." (The Comfort Zone) This very phrase has touched my heart in a way in which I can't comprehend. When I was a sixth-grader in middle school, I auditioned for a part in the musical, The Little Mermaid Jr. However, although I made callbacks, I was unable to be a part of the production due to my busy schedule with activities everyday after school. Because I couldn't be a part of the musical, I took it to heart, and I blamed myself on my voice becoming my own personal bully. I always would tear myself down, making me believe I wasn't good enough, and throughout middle school, I never auditioned for anything again. I stuck to sports because that was something I felt less anxiety doing because coaches weren't choosing players based off of vocal ability and facial features/expressions.
Later down the road when I was a sophomore in high school, I had lost my closest friend to her new boyfriend, and her schedule became too busy doing things with her significant other rather than with me. In that time period without any close friends, I felt uncared for, I had nobody to share a common interest with, I was all by myself, and nobody seemed to have time to hang out with me unless they needed help on homework. It was a time of loneliness and sadness. Later in that year, musical auditions started up, and the musical was Les Miserables. The entire show consisted of singing and no talking involved, so the theatre teacher looked to the choir department to lend over some vocalists. I, however, had no interest in trying out in front of my whole ACapella choir class (the highest choir class in school), so I planned on being a part of the audience when the time did come for the show to open. However, my friend from choir, Jorge, convinced me to at least try, and he agreed that he would try out also if I did. Furthermore, I ended up auditioning in front of the whole class. After I sang, I ran to my seat and hid my face, ashamed, but all I could hear was an applause and positive feedback. That moment changed me completely. Although I still have anxiety, I feel more willpower to try new things before backing out. I ended up being a part of the musical, Les Miserables. If it weren't for that audition my sophomore year, my life would be totally different today. With the musical experience, I ended up making the best friends I have ever acquired in my entire life, and I had the opportunity to be a part of something wonderful. One of the last phrases of the poem, in The Comfort Zone, was "I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before, I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door." (The Comfort Zone).
In that moment when I faced one of my biggest fears by singing to my whole class, I felt like I was one step closer to getting out of my comfort zone. I'm not quite there yet, but I can't imagine the possibilities I will see in my future if I stop tearing myself down and keep reminding myself that I'm only human and nowhere near perfection. I believe that one day, I will become a successful individual because of the many fears I learned to overcome in my grade-school years. I only hope I'll continue to keep trying new things because you never know what you're missing out on if you don't attempt to try new things.